Heartbreak & Hope


We took dd Wednesday and left her at her 'new home' it is very much like an acute care psych center. For those who have never been to one it is very strict. The first week she is on what they call eyeball restriction, must be seen by staff at all times. She can build up freedoms and even get overnight visits home after a while. She was very angry when she realized what it was going to be like, we left her crying, trembling, and cursing us... I thought it would kill me. She called last night and sounded much better. She asked if we were coming to visit Sunday. I feel so much better since I talked to her. Maybe this will help, she is living with trained counselors that are on shift night and day. She will not be able to use the coping skills she is used to using, no cutting herself, no scratching herself, no music, ect.. she will be forced to learn new healthy coping skills for dealing with stress. She will get group therapy daily and individual therapy with her therapist and doctor. Maybe, just maybe she can begin to understand ways to make better choices and express herself. I have hope.
I have been so sad with her not here, my thoughts were tortured, (the enemy knows my weakness is my children) thinking of her stressed and alone, living in utter misery. I truly couldn't see any difference in this place and being in Guantanamo bay, I still believed we had done the right thing but it I could find no peace, but last night the Lord spoke to me. I opened the new issue of The old schoolhouse magazine reading part two of homeschooling the rebel, how at times they had to put their child out of the home to live with other family, so to have peace and order restored, (I see now that the Lord has given me a window of much needed peace and calm with hubby and the boys. I am not going to allow the devil to take this by keeping me preoccupied with worry about dd. The boys deserve some time with mom and dad without dd causing stress and being hateful, God is allowing us to have a breather, while he works on her heart.) and how it helped the rebellious child to realize that they must change their behaviors. What a comfort to know that the Lord finds ways to speak to me even when I am so wrapped up in my sorrow that I'm not listening, he finds a way. God is so good. The average stay for this place is 8 mos, it will not be easy but I am hopeful today that it can make a positive difference in her life.