It all fell apart...


On Friday night we let dd go to friends house this is record of the next 48 hrs...She and another friend asked to stay over at friends house.(I have known both the girls and there parents for years) I was going to drop them off at her house on my way to work, the plan was that this girls mom would take them to movie and pizza, I had not talked with the mom yet and planned to when I dropped them off. On the way they are talking to the girl on the phone, I hear... Well where are you? then, mom can you just take us to the movies, they are already in town at walmart.. Ok I had no problem with that. When we get to movies the girl and her mom haven't gotten there yet, since I had to get to work, I drop them at the door and in they go.
fast forward to the next night. I am at work, I get a call from the police. They have picked up my daughter and need me to come pick her up. It seems that all three of these girls told their parent a different story, we have not got the truth about where they stayed Friday night yet. Saturday night they and many other kids were out in the woods behind Hastings partying and Lord knows what! When the cops showed up my daughter was one of the kids the ran, she was ticketed with criminal trespassing and fleeing on foot.( back into the juvinile system she goes) I took her for a drug test within hours and she was positive for sedatives. She also confessed to recently taking 5 hydrocodone while she was hanging out at Hastings, she said she vomited afterward. That amount could have been fatal if it had been kept down.
This leaves no doubt in my mind that she needs to go into a long term treatment. We are in the process of that now. The past two days have been awful, she is in a major depression and I have been on suicide watch, checking on her often, checking meds, knife counts ect. We went through a suicide attempt in the past, I have had trouble putting that memory behind me. For a long time afterward I dreaded waking her up in the morning for fear I'd find her cold and dead. She is hardly speaking, zoned out much of the time, if you speak to her you get yelled at. her room smells like vomit, she wouldn't wake up yesterday and get ready for school. Just better to leave her alone right now? All attempts to talk with her or ask her if she is ok make her more angry. Today she did go to school, maybe that will help. We are seeing her doctor and therapist tomorrow, and go to court for a FINS on the 15th. Pray nothing worse happens in the mean time. We thought of trying for acute care placement now, but she is denying suicide thoughts and wouldn't qualify. I pray this gets better today, the stress is killing me, I honestly am feeling some depression and anxiety over this but I just don't have the time to deal with it right now. To top it off college classes start in 9 days. I know the Lord won't give you more then you can handle, so I am praying for a stronger back, as I feel mine is breaking under the wt of all this... I have faith that he will never leave me though and has given me this verse to console me
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, AND NOT BE WEARY; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31