Sometimes he calms the storm, sometimes he calms the child....

That line is from a song I recently heard while surfing the DOC (diabetes online community) I don't think I've ever heard it before, (see my playlist below to listen to the song.) It sure hit home for me this week. It has been a tough week here in the 2 with type 1 house. We placed sensors on the boys due to increased high blood sugars and readings that were all over the place. Let me tell you that I have a love/ hate relationship with sensors. I love the info and trends you can see, thanks to sensors we found that Caden's glucose has been tanking at about 3 am (caught in 60s-70s twice this week) but the flip side is the lack of sleep takes a huge toll, those alarms are sounding about every 1/2hr some nights it seems. The lack of sleep runs me ragged, emotionally, sadness seems wrapped around me when I get this tired. Fighting D is never ending.. the burden of trying to replace a broken body system is immense and our very best is not enough so much of the time. Yet seeing my boys growing, smiling, never complaining, never letting it get to them, keeps me getting up to silence the alarms, jab the fingers, fumble the pump buttons in the dark.. night after night. But I am feeling weary, so I pray.. Jesus calm the child, if your will is not to calm the storm, please calm the child. Amen

I know how to save a life ...

Sure, folks saw me get up and quickly walk out and then return to my seat during our Sunday church service. What most didn't know is that I was in the process of saving my 8 yr old sons life at that very moment. You see, he was having an insulin reaction/ low blood sugar and his blood sugar at the time was in the 40's. Now without glucose the body will lapse into unconsciousness, seizures and possibly death. Most of the time this type response has become so normal for us that we give it little thought, when their blood sugar plummets we quickly give glucose, without a bat of the eye; and every minute of the day we are supplying them with insulin. Even a few hours without insulin and the body begins to slip into a process that can lead to death within days. But once in a while it hits me how this truly is life saving, the day to day actions we do are life support. Up until insulin was discovered in the 1920's, diabetes was a fatal disease. And I am grateful for the insulin, but it is not a cure by any means, Insulin and quick sugars allow my boys to live, and life is good and I thank God for it, but have no doubt, it is a life lived on life support. Insulin dose not fix diabetes, it does not control diabetes, what it does is prevent death and it allows you to have some management over the control of blood sugar, and if you learn all the tricks and play the game well you just might avoid losing your feet, legs, eyes, kidneys and life, at least at an early age. So thinking about these things prompted me to have a tee shirt made at the fair ..

front



back


I want a cure for diabetes, I want it to come in my son’s lifetime. I will educate and advocate, and until a cure is found I will continue to save lives....

Numbers that scare me..

I am not a person that is worried about numbers for the most part, I don't really mind my age number, I don't get to worked up about the number of dollars made/ spent (you can't take it with you ) Even the random high blood sugar of 300 or 400's doesn't shake me much, cause I know we can get it down.. but some numbers do upset me..
Today I was sitting at my computer surfing some cool home school sites when from the living room I hear.... uh! Mom come now! I'm 39!!!

Fear was in that voice, and fear sprang in my heart, because this 39 happened while hanging out on the sofa playing x- box with his brother, it came out of nowhere.. numbers this morning have been good, no extra activity to account for it, no decreased appetite or illness to blame it on.. lunch was pizza which tends to cause highs, not lows... So if for no reason at all we plummet to 39, my brain begins to wander... what ifs.... what if he had been at the lake, swimming in the deep... what if he were driving, ( it won't be long) what if it was 3:00 in the morning and I hadn't bothered to get up and check his sugar ( some nights I sleep through nighttime checks) .... was he close to having a seizure? or losing consciousness or worse?
Lows are scary, they are scary for the person having them and for the people witnessing them. They are also a part of our life, and for the most part we manage them without much fuss. Funny how saving the life of your child becomes so routine, when I heard 39, I jumped up grabbed the dextrose tabs and pixie sticks and within mins his blood sugar was back up to 77, within seconds of hearing, "come now" I had mentally reviewed where the 'BIG RED" (glucagon ) kit was and the cake icing (just in case). Numbers like 39 will continue to haunt me and keep me up at night, because numbers like 39 do scare me.

Class of 2011

Preparing to Fly !!!

Autumn received her high school diploma at the home school graduation ceremony on

the 21st,

We are so proud of her

She will turn 18 in two weeks, her plans are still undecided, I know she will move out of our home and into the Lord's hands , of course, that is where she's been all along.... So I keep reminding myself that he will continue to care for her. I trust him.

For today: January 25th

From my heart / on my mind: I am working hard to find a daily routine that works for us since I have added an extra day at work each week. I am tweaking my morning and bedtime routines to find what works best.

Through my window: It is a bit warmer the past few days (but still cold), the sun has been out today. I long to see some flower beds our in our yard this spring..

On our menu: tonight is hamburger stew with rolls, other meals I have planned are crockpot chicken and dressing with green beans and potatos, chowder, hamburgers with pork & beans, and eating out saturday when we take Z and his friends for pizza and bowling for his b-day. breakfasts will be oatmeal with toast, pancakes, smoothies, and B&G with eggs.

Around the house: Christmas has been put away ( took forever..) I am still finding a few christmas home decor. at the dollar store for .25 and putting it up for next year. I am trying to keep up with my weekly home blessings and chores, I am doing fair in this area.

Health & fitness: struggling to get my exercise in each week, I am sticking to my improved eating habits and have lost 6 pounds so far. I am hopeful and determined to stick to it.

Fugal finds: I did not have time to do any couponing this week

My job as a pancreas: a better week for both boys

Caden's 2 week avg blood sugar is 178, he was in range (70-140) 37% of the time. We have finally gotten his basal in range, we may need to tweak here and there still. No major issues for him

Zach has been playing the role of guinea pig as we try to find the amount of lantus to add to his daily routine to prevent ketones when he dislodges his site at night ( a major issue for him ) we have been trying 20%, but our recent test proved this amount to be to small to prevent ketones at 4 hrs without his pump ( our goal ) so now we will be increasing the lantus to 30% of basal and see how it goes. We have seen several readings in the 60's but no severe lows as we are really trying to tighten his numbers and get his A1C at 7. Z's avg. BG for the past 2 weeks is 153 and he was in range ( 70-140 ) 50% of the time.

A look through my lens:

no photo this week.

For today: January 11, 2011

From my heart / on my mind: It is so nice having the kids home due to snow days, the boys are loving the extra x-box play time. Dh has been home from work due to the snow also, I am enjoying him hanging out with us. Autumn has been in a good mood since returning, It is obvious she missed us. I hope in her heart she feels how much we want her to be here with us.

As he leads me: I continue my Bible reading, we have made the decision to support our pastor in a weekly radio ministry, I am placing an order with angle tree food bank this week to support this wonderful cause. I have purged our outgrown clothes and I hpoe to be able to host a clothing closet (maybe weekly) for anyone in need through our church. I plan to ask our pastor about this later this week. I am excited to be able to attend Sunday morning service started next week on my new schedule at work.

Through my window: the ground is white with snow, it is cold, right at freezing this morning. The ground is covered with tracks from the boys building forts and from the dogs.

On our menu: I continue to follow my diet plan, staying within a 1500-1800 cal. range each day. Dh is making beans and taters tonight, other meals this week include.... muffins, smoothies, lean pockets, beef & noodles, chicken soup, sausage bread, meatloaf & cabbage.

Around the house: I still have Christmas decorations out!! This is going to be taken care of today.. I have gotten my new schedule from my job and now have a routine in place for our days/weeks, I am looking forward to beginning next week.

Health & fitness: I did not get all my workouts done last week, I only did one day... this week I am determined to do 3 days at least.

Fugal finds:

Got some great deals at walgreens this week......

5 pairs of kneehighs

colgate toothpaste

glad air freshener spray

box of bandaids

2 - 6 pack of Bic razors

2 - large packs of stayfree pads

total under $7

My Kroger trip this week........

charmin double roll 12 pk

chewy granola bars

secret ladies deodorant

2 - old spice deodorant

olay body wash

old spice body wash

aussie shampoo

aussie hairspray

lg dawn dishwashing liquid

2 - pack yogurt

sm half & half

2 - sugarfree gum

total - 18.17

My job as a pancreas: Not doing very well in this area, both boys have ran high and adjustments are being made, Zach is trying out using a small amount of Lantus to cover some of his basal needs and prevent ketones when sites are lost, Caden is needing increases across the board.

Zachs average BG - 212 in range 22% of the time

Caden average BG - 200 in range 26% of the time

A look through my lens:

This is my favorite place to go on a cold day, I love to soak in a hot bath, it is great for my stressed back and warms me up better then anything else. I love my tub, it has tiny openings along the bottom that jet air into your bath and make a wonderful spa like feeling that is very relaxing. My hubby inset our tub with brick, it is beautiful, he is very talented at his craft.

Our wayward child returns..

I am happy to report that our daughter is back home safe and sound, I am very thankful to have her home.

I feel that I need to say... that it is only because of the Love of God that I am able to welcome her back with open arms. I will not lie, the human nature in me harbors anger toward her for the worry and hurt and selfish acts she has continued to pull for many years, the human nature in me wants to kick her rebellious butt to the curb and let her find out the hard way that the world is cold, and home is where she should long to be, the human nature in me is tired of giving her chances and feeling the hurt & disappointment when she lies and deceives us yet again.

But then I remember something & I am so completely, overtaken and grateful that the Lord loved us all when we where ungrateful, liers hiding in that garden so long age, because we were ashamed, yes hiding and ashamed because we knew we had messed up (same as she did), yet he did not leave us and let us fend for ourselves.. no he came looking for us, to find us, he knew.. of course. He must have felt hurt and disappointment that we had disobeyed, and yes there was a price to be paid,( and she will have one too) but the Lord made a way for us to come back to him.. and that is why I am able to wrap my arms around our struggling, challenging, rebel daughter and say....... Welcome home, this morning. Thank you Lord for loving me, may your love be shown to her through me. Lisa

Wendy at Candy Hearts is giving away some great D prizes to kick off the new year. Would love to win some of this great stuff.

A new weekly post ...

Tuesday January 4, 2011

From my Heart/ on my mind: My heart is heavy over the issues we are facing with our daughter, In other areas I am hopeful for a new year and feel a sense of renewal in my spirit.

Through my window: the sunshine is wonderful, it is cold and brisk outside, I am looking forward to spring

On our menu: I have been working hard to prepare healthy meals for our family, this week includes... smoothies, waffles with sugar free syrup, bean and veggie wraps, tuna on whole wheat, lean pockets, fruit, brown rice with veggies, stew, chicken enchiladas, lasagna and home baked bread. The freezer is full of several pre-made meals that I put together last week.

Around the house: Christmas decorations must be put away, the house should be tidy by the end of today. I hope to clean and clear clutter from the upstairs this week.

Health and fitness: I am working hard to keep my calories under 1600 each day and to work out 5x week, I am working to complete a 1000 cal. burn challenge with my husband by the weeks end.

Fugal Finds: My walgreens trip this week ..

Finish dishwasher tabs

two - bottles pantene shampoo

48 ct glad trash bags

lg dawn dishwashing liquid

two - crest toothpaste

two - bottles dove daily conditioner

4 boxes cereal

4 canned progresso light soup

total 24.00

Kroger has a great sale on lean pockets I got 7 boxes for $9 after coupons. These are great for lunch along with the progresso soup or salad. I also stocked up on tampax and pads at a great price after coupons and sale discount.

My job as a pancreas: Caden continues to have high blood sugars much of the time, I made changes across the board on his basal and ratios this am in hopes of getting a fresh start. Zach is doing well checking and reporting his numbers from school each day, his numbers are more stable for now and we just have to focus on counting carbs correctly and not "guessing" and mindless snacking.

A look through my lens:

unable to post at this time will try later

Continue to struggle with our daughter

Although on the surface things have appeared to be improved for a while, I have suspected for quite some time that the same issues were still just beneath the surface. As of late Autumn has had some personal issues with the friends and boyfriend she had been hanging with, this I knew would lead to increased problems. New Years Eve Autumn became upset with me for not letting her stay overnight with friends since she was 1 1/2 hrs late coming home and trying to lie about it. So on New Years Day I awoke to her being gone.... She still is ... Just gone.... no note, no attempt to contact us ............ nothing..
I believe I know who she is with, I have no ideal how to contact her ( her phone is off) or where she is living, I have reported her as a runaway to the local police, I am not sure what we are prepared to do when/if she is found before she turns 18 in June. I am prayerful about this and it is a weight on my heart. I am sad but most of all I feel.... tired.... of feeling this heartbreak. I wonder if I will ever have my daughter want to be home and be part of this family, I long for her to be able to feel the love we have for her and do not understand why she can't feel how much we treasure and love her and how many blessings we would love to be able to give her ... I would give anything to reach her heart... if only she would let us....

Goals for the New Year

I have a list of goals I plan to work toward this year, I am posting them here in hopes of holding myself accountable to reach them:


1. read my Bible through this year, I am using the Blue Letter Bible reading program historical plan

2. read 10 good books ( inspiring, or learning something new ) I will post a list when I have made the book choices

3. continue to eat healthy meals, drink water and exercise 5 x each week, the xbox system we bought for Christmas is working wonderful to get those workouts done.

4. complete a scrape book page for each week this year.

5. Go on a date with my husband once a month

6. Go on a marriage retreat once this year

7. One on one time with each boy every month

8. play games with my kids 2x week

9. read the sonlight readers aloud with my kids

10. invite one family over for a meal each month

11. write and card or letter of encouragement to someone who needs it every 2 weeks

12. enjoy a meal with our family each week (grandparents,..)

13. tithe 10%