Thoughts on Z &b-ball

Yesterday I sat watching Z practice B-ball and I was just amazed by him. He has never played before and just a few weeks ago, he new nothing about the game, he couldn't dribble, shoot, ect. anything...he has improved so much! He is really starting to understand the plays and what is expected of him. I think his coach is doing a great job, but what makes the difference is HIM (yes, I am bragging). He gives 200% of what is asked of him, he is a great team player, (looking out for his team mates). Such a good spirit and willingness to do what is asked. Now don't ask me why I was surprised by this yesterday, because that is just how he is, and how he has always been. What crossed my mind while I watched him, is how blessed I am to get to be this young man's mother, how fast his childhood is going by, and just how much I will miss these days when he has grown up.

Back in public school

Daughter started back to public school this week, I really have mixed feelings about it. I have struggled this fall feeling that I wasn't teaching her enough. I really have worried more about her being isolated the past few months also. Even with the co-op meetings each week and her seeing her friends on the weekend. If she uses this as a new start and tries hard.. things can go well, she is excited. On the other hand if she starts getting into trouble and ect... I will feel we made a step backward. One thing that finally hit me was that no amount of homeschooling will change her into what I hope she will be, if she turns away from God and us, if she chooses to live worldly and in pain it's not because I put her back in public school. Lets face it 2 1/2 yrs of homeschooling haven't changed that part of her much if any. True, it is easier to control her behaviors but sooner or later she is the person that must decide what life she wants to live. I may change my mind tomorrow but for now....its where we are at.

sick, ready for a break..

Yuck, I have really battled this sinus infection for a while now, to start with the infection had spread to my inner ear and I spent 3 days so dizzy I didn't make it past the couch. (I had myself worried that I had a brain tumor) so I went to the Dr., lucky it was not a tumor, just a bad sinus infection. Today is the last of my antibiotics and the dizziness is gone but the congestion and pressure are awful. I finally broke down and took a darvocet pain pill last night, still didn't sleep a wink. It didn't matter how I lay one side of my face was about to explode.
So now I am trying to be nice to the kids and not bite their heads off, I am so cranky. We will be leaving soon for Tuesday school, I really want to stay home but dear daughter looks forward to going and I have been feeling a little guilty that she is home all week. Yes, I have even thought about letting her try going to public school again. The work load for my college classes is more than I thought it would be and I feel I'm not giving her enough of my time right now. Just some thoughts rattling in my head these days...

cuddles from caden

Ok so its way too early for me to be awake because I have to work tonight, but I woke up hungry and since I am awake anyway I couldn't resist checking out some of my fav blogs ( yes this is addicting) So as I set here at the computer, Caden who was napping on the couch, wakes up, staggers sleepily beside me and I hear "mommmmmm" yeah all drawn out like that, and of course I reach out, and he clamors into my lap to snuggle up to tell me "what my dream was about" ( he means what he had a dream about) which today was sponge bob. After a couple minutes he's gone, off to play, and I am reminded that it won't be long before he won't automatically come to mom's lap. He is growing up and I just want to treasure each snuggle. I thank God for him, I thank God for that moment, and for letting me realize just how precious it was to share with my little guy. That is the kind of mother, and person, I try to be. One that realizes each minute is a gift and savors my life.. I just wanted to post that moment.