just plain tired..

It has not been a good day for our girl, I can tell that her mood has been darker today, I have tried to ask (very gently ) if things are OK but she had a blow up at me tonight. I hope and pray that she will not be upstairs in her room cutting on her arm tonight, but I know that if I push it will make things worse. I hate these dark days of hers. I struggle with the cutting because I have no way of understanding it. We do know that she uses it to decrease her frustration level when she feels overwhelmed. I have seen small glimpses of improvement in her developmental maturity over the past several months. so I am hopeful that things will improve. I am tired tonight, I have been working temporarily at my old job, while my replacement is on maternity leave. This means that I have my regular full time weekend nights job, my weekday temp job ( 15hrs a week) part time ( 3 classes) college courses each week, lots of studying to do and papers to write, 3 children and one husband. yeah I am tired and nothing is getting taken care of at home which depresses me. The homeschooling is on hold for this month. I only have a couple weeks left at this pace then things will be calmer. Hubby has been really helpful and supportive though and I don't think I could get through it without him. Z's blood sugars have been pretty stable and we have had no problems at school managing the diabetes. we go to ACH in a couple of weeks to visit with our endo, I hope the visit is good and Z's A1C is under 8, I always feel like that # is a report card on if I am being a good mother and taking care of him or not.