So upset with our girl..

Our girl has marred her beautiful body again, this time with a home done tattoo, its ugly, dark , offensive and right on her inner wrist. I nearly died. It was done at a friends house and hid from us for quite a while with long sleeves and wrist bands. I am just sick, (at least she said she used a brand new sewing needle and didn't share it with anyone. Thank God.) I am so angry at her that I can't really even have a conversation with her about it, without starting to loose it. She keeps saying "it will fade" I made things worse by making the comment that she could just be grounded until it faded then, this prompted her to try and scrub it off, which as left large, raw, scabs across the area, but didn't fade the ugly thing a bit. I pray to God to let me see her through his eyes, to give me wisdom to know how to respond to her, and to keep and protect her.

Just wanted to share

I love reading other blogs and most I've seen have posted pics on them, so I wanted to share a few things that I am enjoying this morning..

Our house faces east, so each morning as the sun comes up I get this wonderful light streaming through the glass of our front door, what you can't see in this pic is that the foyer is vaulted and we have a large arched window set up there so even more light comes in. I love it so much, and I am so glad we decided on the double entry door. I really am enjoying our new home.

This is my table in our foyer, I dressed it up for fall. I am really proud of it because I got the dresser at a scratch and dent place for $149, it has a tiny water mark on it you would hardly even notice. The topper is a valence bought on clearance, the lamp from wal-mart and the cute pumpkins and the black bird candle holders I got at the gift shop at the hospital ( not the best price but helps support a good cause). I think it looks really cute, my fav is the black birds.

And finally...tah dah...is Cadens new bed!

(I know that its really an over sized chair with a tattered soft cot on it) But this is a major step for him. please realize that he has spent his entire life sleeping right up to mommy! Yes he was a breast baby and he thought this was the only way he could sleep. We tried many things and had finally settled on letting him sleep on a pallet beside our bed, but he still hated it and felt " left out and all alone" (his words) and " with no one to snuggle up to". Then daddy had a great ideal to put the lg chair up to our bed and fill the space with pillows, he added the softy cot ( Caden loves it) and presto.. he feels like he is still in our bed and everyone is happy. Once he gets used to sleeping alone in his space we will move toward his room upstairs. Great Job Daddy!

just plain tired..

It has not been a good day for our girl, I can tell that her mood has been darker today, I have tried to ask (very gently ) if things are OK but she had a blow up at me tonight. I hope and pray that she will not be upstairs in her room cutting on her arm tonight, but I know that if I push it will make things worse. I hate these dark days of hers. I struggle with the cutting because I have no way of understanding it. We do know that she uses it to decrease her frustration level when she feels overwhelmed. I have seen small glimpses of improvement in her developmental maturity over the past several months. so I am hopeful that things will improve. I am tired tonight, I have been working temporarily at my old job, while my replacement is on maternity leave. This means that I have my regular full time weekend nights job, my weekday temp job ( 15hrs a week) part time ( 3 classes) college courses each week, lots of studying to do and papers to write, 3 children and one husband. yeah I am tired and nothing is getting taken care of at home which depresses me. The homeschooling is on hold for this month. I only have a couple weeks left at this pace then things will be calmer. Hubby has been really helpful and supportive though and I don't think I could get through it without him. Z's blood sugars have been pretty stable and we have had no problems at school managing the diabetes. we go to ACH in a couple of weeks to visit with our endo, I hope the visit is good and Z's A1C is under 8, I always feel like that # is a report card on if I am being a good mother and taking care of him or not.

Here goes my first attempt at blogging, I have been inspired to try this after reading some really neat blogs that I will attempt to provide links to. I am not the most web savvy person so I'll have to see how it goes. I have to go and get the kids ready for tuesday school ( our homeschool group meets once a week). I will add more later when we return.